The Search For Peace

The Search For PeacePin
The Search For Peace

My situation

We all have many health challenges to manage. Many of us have financial stress as we try to pay for our essential and healthcare expenses. Now the world has gone crazy with this coronavirus pandemic. I’m seriously struggling to hold on to peace in my life. Are you able to find peace in yours?

Yesterday, my daughter-in-law and son lost their baby at 22 weeks gestation. We are devastated. This too, on top of an already overfull plate of a broken shoulder, and seemingly endless medical bills. This on top of having to isolate myself because of my immune deficiency.

You know how they say don’t touch your face, how you suddenly feel the constant urge to rub or scratch your face? How being told, “Don’t eat that dessert,” leads to wanting it more? Well, I feel like “social distancing” is increasing my feelings of isolation and loneliness. I find myself craving hugs, and having to satisfy that desire by wrapping up in a cozy bathrobe that a precious friend brought me when I broke my shoulder.

What do we do, when there is a death in the family? When no one is supposed to be getting together or traveling? I wanted to rush to the hospital to comfort my son and daughter in law, but I am sick with some bug, and so are they. So I sit at home and cry, and they sit in the hospital and cry.

I know that preventing the spread of this virus is very important for all of us, but it sure makes some things so much harder to cope with.

My Search For Peace

Originally, I planned this post to talk about how I’ve been searching for peace for myself as I felt very restricted not being able to drive with my shoulder. But then my first grandchild died. A little girl. The peace I’ve tried for months to grab hold of just evaporated.

It’s dawned on me that all over the world people are mourning their loved ones. They aren’t able to get together and cry and mourn. They aren’t able to be at the bedside during their loved ones last breaths, because of this virus. And I feel angry and sad and lost because of it.

I’m sure that I am not the only one out there with this sorrow. Yesterday, after I heard the news of our baby’s death, I cried out to God and said,” It’s too hard. It’s too much. I cannot handle this unless you help me.”

Words of Peace

This morning when I opened my computer there was an email from Jenny at Flourish Gathering. As I read her words, peace came floating on butterfly wings back into my life. God had reminded her to remind me that I am dearly loved, and that He is always with me. So I’m sharing her email with you all, because you are dearly loved, too!

The email was this:

“I awoke naturally this morning, earlier than usual for a Sunday morning. As I walked downstairs to make some tea and enjoy a few moments of quiet before the rest of the family awoke, I was surprised by the time, “5:30 am!! What? Surely, there must be some mistake, today is my day of rest, I should be resting!”Nevertheless, I was awake and continued to make my tea and have some time to read God’s word. Last night before drifting off to sleep my heart was burdened. I whispered my requests to God, and before I could listen for his response sleep overcame me.As I journaled this morning, I felt myself coming back to that burden I had whispered the night before.Thankfully God is not afraid or annoyed by our feelings, our emotions, or our complaints. He asks us to bring them all to Him. To heap them in a big pile at His feet.So I did. I poured out my heart on paper, what I felt, what didn’t feel right, what I needed, what I couldn’t do…“There it is Lord. All yours.””Remember” he whispered.“Remember? I brought it to your feet, all my burdens, Father, do you understand what I’m asking? I need to feel your help more””Remember the sparrow,” He repeated.“The sparrow?, Yes I remember something about a sparrow in the Bible. Something about how the sparrow doesn’t worry about what it will eat or where it will live, and how you know if even one sparrow falls to the ground. But what does it have to do with MY burdens?”I thought I knew where this was going, so I grabbed my computer and researched the sparrow. What I found was Scripture after Scripture referencing the sparrow.“Are not five sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.” Matthew 10:29

Who knew such a meek bird was so important to God?Wikipedia describes the sparrow as small, plump, short and stubby! (Talk about a label!)Yet, God used the sparrow time and time again to remind us of the depth and breadth of His care for us.“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7As I read each scripture, the burdens seemed to melt away. “He does care for me. He is helping me. If even one sparrow is not forgotten by God, then neither am I.”Friend, as much as I needed to hear this reminder this morning. I know you do too. The burdens of this world seem to creep in and stick on us like that slime your kids made at school (or was that just mine?).They grip our hearts and we oh so easily forget how much God cares and knows our distresses, our burdens, our every.single.need.Remember…Charles Spurgeon reminded us so beautifully, so I close with this:“There is one who cares for you. His eye is fixed on you, his heart beats with pity for your woe, and his omnipotent hand shall yet bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall give place to the morning. If you are one of his family, he will bind up your wounds, and heal your broken heart. Do not doubt his grace because of your tribulation, but believe that he loves you as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness.”Remember the sparrow…“Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, Lord Almighty, my King and my God.” Psalm 84:3

Jesus’ Words About Peace

Honestly, in all the scary, sad stuff going on in this world, the only source of peace I’ve found is in God the Father, and His son Jesus. Jesus told his disciples,

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

The Gospel Of John Chapter 16, verse 33

Jesus also said,

“I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

The Gospel Of John Chapter 14, verse 27

Finally, I don’t know why all this bad stuff is happening, but one thing I do know. I can lean on God no matter what is happening in this world. He wants to help you through this crisis, too. All you need to do is ask. While you’re asking for Him to help you, don’t forget to ask for your family and neighbors, and all healthcare providers. Thanks for listening.

Till next time, Kathy

P.S. Want to learn more about God? I would love to tell you about Him. Just message me.

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By Kathryn

I'm a writer, disabled registered nurse, and former home school parent of 6 children ages 19 to 32. I'm also a domestic abuse survivor.

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