Disclaimer: Two months ago, I was approached by the publicist of the above named book, and asked if I would like a copy to review for my readers. The topic of resilience fascinates me, so I agreed. The following thoughts are my own, and aren’t influenced by receiving a free copy.
The author “Linda Graham, MFT, is an experienced psychotherapist who integrates modern neuroscience, mindfulness practices, and relational psychology in her international trainings on resilience and well-being. She is the author of Resilience and also Bouncing Back, the winner of a 2013 Books for a Better Life Award. Visit her online at www.lindagraham-mft.net.”
There is so much meaty information in this book, and much of it is entirely new to me. The most important idea to me was that no matter how poorly we are dealing with life now, it’s completely possible to learn how to cope better. It was also really encouraging to me to learn that our brains are capable of unlearning bad habits, and learning new ones.
How The Book Is Set Up
Chapter one covers how we learn to bounce back. It’s a bit technical. Chapters 2-7 cover the different aspects of resilience and give many exercises to do to strengthen that part of resilience. Chapter 8 covers ways to physically care for our brains to help them function as best as they can.
The author has a chapter for each Intelligence that affects our resilience. She instructs us to move through the book in order to get the most out of it. The first Intelligence is Somatic having to do with our nervous system. The exercises in this section have to do with ways to calm ourselves down so we’re not stuck in “fight or flight mode.”
Chapter 3 is on Emotional Intelligence. This section helps us “to manage our feelings, rather than let them hijack us or shut us down.” I’ve been aware of practices to help with both somatic (body) and emotional aspects of resilience. I even wrote an article titled:
Emotional Resilience: Why You Need It & How To Get It
Relational Intelligence With Yourself
Chapters 4 and 5 cover Relational intelligence Within Yourself and with Others. Chapter 4 covers “tools to help you strengthen your self-awareness, self-acceptance, and trust.” This includes learning how to work with our inner critic/judge.
Relational Intelligence With Others
Relational Intelligence with Others: In this section, the exercises involve listening, empathy for others, navigating relationships, communicating without shame or blame, interacting with others for needed resources, negotiating, boundaries, etc. I know that I need this section as I struggle in this area.
The last intelligence is Reflective. This chapter is about mindfulness, seeing clearly, making wise choices, and being aware of our assumptions so they don’t interfere with making wise choices. This section also discusses how we look at “problems” and “mistakes/failures.”
Finally, chapter 7 pulls all the intelligences together, and provides exercises to help us appreciate our “problems,” learn from them, and move on. I love this quote from chapter 6.
The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise, and thinking that having problems is a problem.
I’m planning on working my way through this book’s exercises. The exercises are easy to understand, but the explanations are pretty technical. There are many terms related to the field of psychology. I think Linda has put together a comprehensive guide that will help us to handle life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
An Interview With the Author
Here is a video of an interview with Linda Graham which I found very interesting.
If you’re interested in getting this book, click here. This is an affiliate link. I will get a small payment if you purchase this book, but it will not increase the price you pay.
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Till next time, Kathy