May 2020 Link Party With “A Chronic Voice”

It’s time for May’s Link Party with Sheryl at “A Chronic Voice”. Every month, Sheryl gives us 5 prompts to write about. She collects everyone’s answers for others to read. I enjoy reading what other people are doing, and thinking each month.

This month’s prompts are: Foreseeing, Panicking, Upbringing, Accessing, and Soothing.

Foreseeing

When January 2020 started I was looking forward to meeting my first grandbaby in August. My youngest son had a tumor on his kidney that needed surgery, which was causing me anxiety. Everything else was a big unknown. I never know with my health what the future really holds from day to day anyway.

No one imagined that we would be in the midst of a pandemic that appears to be sticking with us. I never thought I would fall and fracture my right upper arm at the shoulder. I never dreamed that my son and daughter-in-law would lose their baby. It’s probably for the best that I didn’t know these things were coming at me and my family like a freight train.

FYI: The surgeon was able to completely remove the kidney cancer and my son is doing well. (:

Panicking

I experienced extreme anxiety from January 22nd when I broke myself until the end of April. Sleep was difficult to get due to anxiety and shoulder pain. Then my fibromyalgia flared up. Irritability happened. I guess it was a good thing that I lived by myself. No chance of taking it out on others. LOL!

Upbringing

Interestingly, this prompt fits my situation this month. I’ve been examining my beliefs from childhood. My dad firmly believes that girls need to get married, because they need someone to take care of them. He also firmly believes that “You have to look out for yourself, because no one else will.”

These beliefs caused a great deal of confusion and grief in my life. It’s only recently that I became aware of them. I don’t blame my dad. He learned these things from his parents and grandparents. But “Gee whiz!” what a mess they caused in my adult life.

So I’m bringing myself up right now. I’ve declared that I am capable of taking care of me, and that I do not need a man to do that job. I’m also declaring that I don’t have to look out for myself all alone, because my Heavenly Father has my back.

Yet I am always with You;

    You hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

    and afterward You will take me into glory.

Psalm 73:23-24

Accessing

There were many frustrations with the lockdown and stay at home orders. However, the most frustrating one for me was when I was not allowed to go to Physical Therapy (PT), because I got a cold during the pandemic. I cancelled my therapy for a week ,and then my outpatient PT provider decided that I had to be symptom free for 14 days before I could return.

I kept doing my exercises, but without having a therapist stretch my shoulder for me, it became stiffer and stiffer and much more painful. I ended up missing out on 6 weeks of therapy which set back my recovery.

The second most frustrating thing was not being able to see people. I had already been unable to drive since my accident in January. By the time the pandemic lockdown occurred I was going stir crazy and was very lonely. Thankfully, my friends and I have figured out how to use Zoom! This has been a real sanity saver for me.

I’ve also spent a lot of time talking to God.

Soothing

Thank God for music! Listening to music has been a sanity saver for me throughout this season. I’ve shared in a previous post, five of my favorite music videos. Music has a way to calm me that few other things do, except for getting out into nature.

When I’ve been able to, I’ve also walked in my local park. If I miss a day, I get antsy. It’s also soothing to listen to the birds chirping outside my window. Below is a photo that I snapped in my neighborhood.

My final two soothing helps, are reading the Bible, and coloring in my mandala coloring book. What have you found to soothe yourself with during this season?

Wrap Up Of May’s Link Party

Thank you, so much, Sheryl for hosting these each month! You can read the other participants posts here. Scroll to the bottom to see them.

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Till next time, Kathy