Domestic violence and abuse cause long lasting physical, emotional, and spiritual distress. It’s easy to find mental health resources to help with healing the emotional damage of domestic abuse and violence. However, finding resources for clearing up the spiritual confusion that occurs when one’s faith is used as a weapon is much harder. Also, not every Christian therapist is trained to deal with the trauma of domestic abuse/violence.
My Experience with Spiritual Confusion
I lived in an abusive marriage for 21 years and had six children with him. I left in 2006 and finally had the time and energy to get serious about healing after my youngest child graduated from high school in June 2018.
Before that I was in survival mode. Something about working full time as a registered nurse on a cancer ward, being the single parent of six children who weren’t coping well with life, and dealing with the ongoing cancer treatment of my youngest child took up all my time and energy. I stuffed my emotions down just to get through the day only to have them haunt me at night. I spent most of my days sleep deprived.
Maybe you can relate to my feelings of guilt, shame, and of being a failure. I felt abandoned by God because life was so heart-wrenchingly difficult. I was angry at God for allowing my children to be forced to go on visitation with their abusive father. When they were with their father, I feared for their safety.
I felt judged at church and unloved by God, so I didn’t attend church or even open my Bible for several years after leaving my abusive ex. Hope felt impossible. My youngest child was in first grade when we left our abusive home. I knew I would have to put up with my ex’s torment until that child’s graduation from high school.
I didn’t think I would even live to see that day, especially when I started to have frequent lung infections and hospital stays. By early 2015, I was no longer able to work. That’s how little hope I had left for my future.
But God didn’t leave me in survival mode or in a place of confusion and hopelessness. Especially over the last four years He has revealed His lavish love for me and all His abused daughters. He longs to take care of you, too.
Healing Spiritual Confusion
I’ve written a devotional called Shattered to Whole: Devotions for Healing from Domestic Abuse to share the things I’ve learned about God, myself, the devil, and people. To let women know that nothing men do to them on this earth will ever change His love for His daughters or the beautiful future He has planned for them.
Shattered to Whole contains 60 devotions divided into 5 sections, covering:
· Untangling confusion about God’s love
· Untangling lies about yourself, God, and others
· Grieving losses
· Forgiving yourself and others
· Hoping again
Inside this book, I share my honest feelings, fears, and questions so you’ll be brave to share your honest feelings, fears, and questions with your Heavenly Father. I found the most amazing acceptance, love, patience, and gentleness when I shared my real feelings with Him. He is the opposite of what the evil one wants you to think He is.
You won’t find any pat answers in this book. God isn’t done writing our stories yet. God is good even when our stories aren’t tied up into neat, happy bows. We are works in progress. Not yet finished masterpieces.
How to use this devotional
Next, to get the most out of this devotional I recommend journaling and/or creating artwork about each devotion in a separate notebook. Take notes in the margins if you have the paperback. Personalize the Bible verses by writing them on notecards with your name and female pronouns and place them around your home.
Healing takes time. Take as much time as you need to work through this book. Healing is possible. I’m living proof that God wants to heal you and will heal you.
An interview about the book
Finally, if you’d like more information, check out this episode of Beacon of Light Podcast where April Tribe Giauque and I discuss this book.
Wrap up of Healing Spiritual Confusion
Lastly, if you need more resources to help you leave a violent home or heal from domestic abuse check out this blog post: Resources for Healing Domestic Abuse.
Do you have questions about Shattered to Whole? Please send them to me on my contact form or email below. If you wish to order Shattered to Whole you can do so here: Amazon.
Finally, I’ve also created a Spotify playlist of healing music to go with this book. Send your order number to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send the link to you.
Till next time, Kathy
Subscribe below for the bimonthly newsletter plus access to subscriber-only freebies. You may unsubscribe at any time, but I’d be thrilled if you stuck around.